• April 27, 2024

Emotional blackmail or the art of manipulating can undoubtedly be one of the most used strategies in relationships, to get what you want with minimal effort, especially in the sexual area.

Does your boy constantly make you suffer, depend totally on him, deprive you of your freedom and damage your self-esteem? It is likely that you are tied to a sick relationship.

The most difficult thing is that you are not fully aware of the damage it is causing you. Unconsciously you are hooked on your partner because it is feeding certain emotional wounds of your childhood: fear of abandonment, need for affection and approval, fear of the other's anger, low self-esteem and responsibility for the lives of others.

What is emotional blackmail?

Emotional blackmail is a very powerful form of manipulation, a psychological abuse in which affectively close people threaten us, directly or indirectly, with punishing us in some way if we do not do what they want. They use feelings as the main weapon.

The emotional blackmailer knows how much we value the relationship that binds us to him. Know our weak points. He is often aware of our deepest secrets. Knowing that we want their love and approval, they threaten to deprive us of one or the other or make us feel that we must win them.

Among the best known strategies: make you feel guilty and flatter if you do what he wants.

Types of blackmailers

The American psychologist Susan Forward classifies blackmailers into four types:

1. Silent punishers: "You're good for nothing. If you do it again, I'll leave you. " Your partner uses threat, anger and insults as a way to generate fear. Before these starts you paralyze, submit and lock yourself in a stressful and tense situation so you give in quickly.
2. Self-punishers: "If you let me take my life." Your strongest card is to hurt yourself or hurt yourself. You become totally responsible and blame yourself for anything your partner does. You give in to any situation, although you do not agree and you protect him from his need for affection, emotional dependence and his lack of responsibility and love of life.
3. Victims of the relationship : "I am the worst because of you", "I always sacrifice myself for you". The eternal drama gives a stamp to his personality. Their way of manipulating is threatening the couple with the suffering and grief that they will have if they do not do what they want.
4. Seducers by nature: "You forget that I paid your credit card." Surely your boy is hiding in offering you money, luxuries or trips in exchange for what he wants done. Behind this mask there is a terrible insecurity, lack of confidence and low self-esteem. The only way to have you safe and controlled is through the material.

How to get out of this situation?

First you must accept that you are in a codependent and addictive relationship in which you are the victim of emotional blackmail or abuse. It is not easy, it takes time, support from your loved ones and a lot of love for you.

The moment you become conscious, you advance, because both your partner and you are responsible for this sickly dynamic. And you, have you been the victim of emotional blackmail?

Video Medicine: Emotional Blackmail - The Devastating Weapon A Narcissist Uses To Betray You (April 2024).