What can you do to be heard?

Maintaining a relationship, at any stage of life, is not a simple matter. There are different actions that are carried out that can damage this affective core: infidelity and annoyance, the latter with effects as destructive as the first.

At Wall Street Journal A note was published that emphasizes this situation. Through a small anecdote it is related how certain acts can cause an annoyance for the couple.

A woman places a message in her husband's sandwich informing her that she must go and pick up an item for the home, a situation that she has already remembered 30 times.

Annoy is called action where one person repeatedly makes a demand or asks for something, the other ignores it and both parties increase their frustration. It is not a minor detail, this type of dynamics in communication is potentially harmful and as dangerous as adultery or poorly managed finances.

People complain and annoy the other because they feel they are not heard. For men this situation generates a feeling of being like scolded children, therefore you feel helpless and upset in that role.

Annoyance can end in divorce, and almost always is like that. The specialist, Howard Markman , psychologist of the University of Denver and specialist in the subject, said in the newspaper that all couples suffer from this dynamic, but that only those who learn to reduce this type of behavior increase their likelihood of staying together and keep love close. Couples who do not learn, usually stop loving and separate.
 

What can you do to be heard?

1. Try changing the way you order. Write small notes with a positive vocabulary, such as: "I'm late for work. You could pick up the milk in the super, love.

2. Use "I" more than "you". For example: "I really need you to pay for the card", instead of "You never pay the card and I'm sick".

3. Lower your expectations. Is it really absolutely necessary to wash dishes after dinner on Sunday?

4. Put a date frame. Example: "Do you think you can pick up the package this week?"

5. Look for alternatives. If paying a person to help with household chores will prevent a possible divorce, maybe it is a good time to invest in their relationship in the future.


Video Medicine: Do You Hear "Yanny" or "Laurel"? (SOLVED with SCIENCE) (November 2022).