• April 28, 2024

The arrival of a child is a great happiness for the parents and the family that surrounds them as uncles and grandparents , however, many times the need to be close to the new member of the family It can generate conflicts that can be solved favorably.

In an interview with GetQoralHealth, Matilde Matuk, psychoanalyst Matilde Matuk, specialist of the Patient Assistance Clinic of the Psychoanalytic Society of Mexico (SPM) details that when grandparents want to participate in the education of grandchildren has to do with the syndrome of the empty nest.

When a child leaves home, the parents look for a reason for life, because normally they are already retired and enter a very strong crisis, since they have nothing to do, that is, they look for a reason to live ". The specialist says that many times this experience is overcome with grandchildren.

The children are working and support of the parents, then the grandparents feel the need to educate them and be they who put limits again as a measure of feeling that they help.

However, when grandparents Conflicts between them and the new parents are not clear about the limits of their behavior with respect to the new family.

Obsessed with grandchildren?

When the grandparents they feel an obsession to educate and treat their grandchildren as if they were their own children it is normal that these behaviors are identified:

1. Conflicts between children and parents are generated
2. They seek to set rules for the grandson and do not respect what parents say
3. The grandson enters into a crisis because of the duality of rules

Many times because of the anguish or emotion of becoming parents , people allow grandparents to interfere a lot in the relationship with their children. Therefore, the most healthy thing is that from the beginning limits are set through communication, to avoid conflicts.

"If they communicate from the beginning they talk about things to identify where they are allowed and where they are not, it is a way to avoid conflicts. In addition, it must be understood that the grandparents are in a personal crisis and that the grandchild can help them feel useful and loved. "

However, it is important to make clear that the grandparents do not educate but only accompany, consent and spend pleasant times with the grandchildren , says Matilde Matuk.

"Communication makes personal relationships become excellent, because in the face of conflicts, the possibility of being able to speak without being offended by people is a plus"

When the new parents or grandparents they need to clarify something, the important thing is not to get defensive, always start talking with an error of their own. The first is to take responsibility and then say what bothers them from others, to reach an agreement without hurting others, says the specialist.

Grandparents are a great support for new parents, they are necessary and their obsession is more for the need to please and feel loved, therefore, when limits are bounced, it is best to talk with them before moving away and feel attacked , concludes the specialist.