• April 26, 2024

"As soon as you try to defend your ideas, you take the risk of losing." Talk of a difficult issue with your partner It is not about being right and wanting to win, but together finding the "best" solution, advises Aaron Karmin , certified psychotherapist of the International Board of Clinical Hypnotherapy .

Communicate assertively the difficult topics with your partner like the economic ones, intimate and about the education of the children, implies to be conscious of the words, of the tone, not to take the personal things and to find the right moment ", deepens Karmin .

Yes to the dialogue ... No to the discussion

It is normal that throughout relationship sentimental surjan themes "Thorny" that we do not know how try ; However, maintaining eye contact, paying attention to the other person's verbal and non-verbal cues are the first steps to follow, explains Karmin . Here some more.

1. Be precise with your words

Unlike women, men are more precise when talking about a topic. So when you want to communicate a news to your partner choose "wisely" your words to be as clear and direct. This ensures you are more likely to be heard and understood.

2. Find the right time

Difficult to establish by times and activities; however, a good strategy is agree a appointment to talk about a topic that worries you. Another option is after a relaxed moment, for example, shortly after waking up on a rest day.

Avoid phrases like "We have to talk", or, "I want to tell you something that worries me", this causes tension , it is best to do it naturally.

3. Focus on what you are going to communicate

Karmin advises focusing exclusively on what you are going to say to your partner and not float other issues that are not relevant. Also, ideally, present some possible solutions and ask him what he thinks or what alternatives have the.

It is possible that your partner has already noticed the problem, although he did not dare to take the first step. This will make the road much easier.

4. Listen with respect and attention

Once you have exposed the subject, what follows is the most "difficult" part: wait for your answer partner , can agree or disagree. In case of a negative, do not prolong the discussion , it is better to stop the conversation and continue later, this helps to analyze things better.

5. Do not make sure anything

The best thing is that you do not hurry by torturing yourself about the reaction What do you think your partner will have? This makes you predispose and start the defensive . Avoid saying, "I know you're going to get mad." This angers more, so go with a clear mind and safe that when talking about it, together they will have the solution .

Wanting to be right is a battle that can be avoided. There are more benefits in seeking a peaceful solution. The couples that solve problems in a way constructive reduce the risk of suffering stress , depression , as well as heart disease .

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