• May 3, 2024

One of the happiest moments in the life of a partner It is when their offspring are born, since they become the clear symbol of their union. But as the days and months go by, Motherhood affects the relationship with the couple and stability goes into crisis.

According to the coauthors of the book "Babyproofing Your Marriage" (How to raise babies and preserve Marriage), Stacie Cockrell , Cathy O'Neill Y Julia Stone , "The fact of having a baby can come to stress even the most solid relationships."

They mention that several studies show that two thirds of "new" parents or those who are first-timers report a decline in their marriages during the first year of the baby's life. The reasons can be very varied and different in each case.

Who do we prioritize?

This problem, the authors comment, is basically because maternity could cause mothers to behave in a different and peculiar way. To this we must add the jealousy that they, unconsciously, feel towards babies.

"What we want and need from our husbands could change when there is someone in our lives who also needs our time and our care," they explain. All of the above we can think that it is logical given that the baby, unlike the husband, can not take care of himself alone.

The conflict arises because mothers think that their husbands do not fully understand the responsibility that being parents implies and why their life is upside down; and dads feel that they have been degraded to the "lowest sector of the family Totem".

Fortunately, these writers clarify that there are different practices that can be started from before the baby is born and that will help make the transition from a couple to a family as natural as possible:

1.- Accept the big difference between being a mom / dad: The experts explain that men and women do react differently when they become parents, the differences of this will become more noticeable as the pregnancy passes.

2.- Plan a "weekend of entretenaminento" . Once you feel comfortable leaving your baby alone at night, say the book's authors, try to take the time to give your dad a "weekend of training"

The idea is to let him solve things for himself, zero help from the grandmother or nanny. In this way, he will understand the "real" work that implies being a mother, as well as providing bonds of affection with the new member.

3.- Good enough is Good enough . One of the basic issues is to enjoy the excitement of having a new baby, the fact of making your demands more flexible with the person next to you, husband, will help to improve the relationship.

Many new moms or moms again, they set their partners very high standards to their husbands. So they, in the same situation as parents, complain because no matter what they do to help with the children or the home, it never seems to be enough.

4.- Avoid "coitus non-existus" (parents who do not have sexual relations). In the book, the authors mention that although it is possible that things have cooled down in the matrimonial bedroom after they have become parents, this practice must be resumed as soon as possible.

"The sex It is one of the factors that keeps marriage together, and without it, their relationship could be reduced to a simple domestic society without feelings or passion, "the specialists in the subject conclude.

How can you notice the Motherhood affects the relationship with the couple to the extent that both allow it, the ideal is to talk about the issues that bother them and work on them to solve them as soon as possible. And you, what would you do to solve it?

Video Medicine: How to Prioritize Tasks Effectively: GET THINGS DONE ✔ (May 2024).