• May 5, 2024

Since we are born, we create bonds of emotional dependence with the closest people, usually our parents or relatives. In adulthood those ligatures are created in a Relationship .

The problem appears when these links become dependency and prevent us from developing as independent and free people.

"This dependence leads us to stay in the background in our own lives, giving more importance to the needs and rights of other people, with our sacrifice", explains the Spanish psychologist Gabriel González, member of the Eduardo Punset Foundation .

For the specialist, some keys to get out of that emotional dependence reside in learning to love oneself, which is achieved with new networks that provide us with the satisfaction of the needs, solutions to the problems and that facilitate the decision making. Everything begins at the moment we set personal goals and objectives, at the same time we set limits.

7 tips to overcome it

The Uruguayan psychologist Mariana Alvez alludes to the well-known book "Women who love too much", by Robin Norwood , to recommend a series of steps that allow us to leave behind the negative dependency pattern:
 

1. The first is to seek help . Those who have a dependent relationship, usually are people whose parents have also been, and have been acquiring this unhealthy pattern to relate.
 

2. Work on your spiritual side . Wake up your desire to reflect and question some things. That feeling of having a purpose in life, of having hope, perhaps even of doing yoga and meditation .
 

3. Avoid emotional games . Do not try to control the other. You have to relate from the equality, nobody is superior to anyone in a partner . The emotional games the only thing they offer is a false security that ends up exhausting you and your partner .
 

4. Be aware of our shortcomings . If you can do something to polish them, go ahead !, but always change from love to yourself, not from punishment. Cultivate in yourself what you think you need, what can strengthen you.
 

5. Let's be healthy selfish . The others are important, but they can not be more important than you. If you can not give yourself love, you can not offer it to someone else.

6. Obsessing . Freeing yourself is the key to recovery. Avoid obsessing with the other, something that manifests through dreams with the other person, think about what you are doing now, sink into memories.
 

7 . Wishes of revenge . Do not give him more importance than he deserves or spend your energy or legs the time to wish the worst to the other so that he pays for what he did.

Both the Dr. Mariana Alvez , As the psychologist Gabriel González They agree that suffering is constructive, but we need to learn to be alone and love ourselves.

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