Forgiving is healing our wounds

• April 27, 2024

All of us life has provoked us injuries by peridas : living is a risk and sometimes others or ourselves act in such a way that we end up hurting ourselves.

The only medicine that exists for heal our wounds It's called "Sorry," but it's not sold at the pharmacy. To forgive we must decide to forgive. It is a process, it is a decision, it is a determination that will release our energy .

We all have wounds: some minor, others bigger, and sometimes, some that seem incurable. The wounds leave scars, to remind us how we hurt ourselves. Forgive is not forget. It is good not to forget how it was that we hurt ourselves, so as not to make the same mistake again.

It is different to have the scar scratching the wound until it becomes infected. ¿When is the time to detach from the pain ? It is a question almost without answer. To each one it is time to decide to move forward without the weight of pain. There is no conventional time, it depends on many factors: what is the loss, who provoked it, whether it was my responsibility or not, how was my relationship with the other ...

Much has been written about stages of grief. We can assume that people have very similar cycles to deal with pain. First what we deny and we want to think that the loss has not happened, but reality prevails and the absence of the other confirms us day by day that it is true that it is no longer there.

Then we usually get angry: with whom he hurt us, with whom he died, with the disease, or with ourselves. It is better to be angry than to deny. The energy of anger tells us about life. But we should not stay angry too long. There are those who stay stuck at some stage and their lives stop working.

Sometimes, the negotiation stage : we make proposals, we fantasize, we believe that it is possible to return time. The damage is already done. What I said, what I did not say, what I did and what I did not do is already there. There is no "if only there was ...", please, try not to stay at that stage of being tossing and turning in your head what you would have done differently. Everything is ordered.

After the negotiation stage, the one of sadness : depression, nostalgia, apathy, melancholy, pain and more pain. Sometimes it's a kind of tribute to the one who left: so you know how much I love you I'll be sad for the rest of my life.Sometimes it is attachment: the husband left me and I can not think of anything else because everything in me depended on you. I lost a job and I can only regret for not being in that wonderful company ...

It is a decision to stop lamenting. It is a decision to look back at what I do have, at what remains, at the new: at the possibilities that open up.

Have to know say goodbye. Forgiving to release all the energy that remains in the other: be it life, a company or a person. Remember that forgiveness is a process , but above all a decision . In this stage the anger has turned on oneself. We are angry with us for allowing us to be hurt or for hurting the other.

Some of the obstacles that make us stay in that depressive state, and not to forgive, are:

1. Get the compassion of others

2. Feel calm because the fault was the other and I am very good

3. Indicating the bad of the other makes me feel superior

4. I do not have to try harder in life

It is fundamental to understand that only When I forgive, I will heal my wound.

Only when I forgive will I go to the last stage: the acceptance , which means integrating the event into my life, as part of my story. It means learning the lesson. It means finding meaning, or at least believing that what happened makes sense. It means deciding to live again. Remember that we have people who love us and we do not have the right to worry or overwhelm them with our pain, of course, after a certain time.

Yes, life is difficult. Yes, sometimes we live in extremely painful situations. Yes, sometimes we suffer irreparable losses , because of nature, for our cause or for the sake of others.

The option to stay angry, depressed or stuck is not the best. The best decide to recover the pieces , learn from the situation, love again , to believe again, to smile again; forgive and forgive.

Worth it!