Death of a loved one in childhood

• May 8, 2024

The reaction of a child to the death of a loved one is very different from that of adults. Your questions, always loaded with innocence and perplexity, they disarm anyone and by not making them suffer the pain, they are deceived or separated from the reality .

How to react to the duel of the creatures? The first thing that experts recommend, like Alain Giacchi, is to be absolutely honest with them. Girls and boys, however small, are sensitive to the reaction and crying of adults, to changes in the routine of the home, to the absence of physical contact with the deceased, that is, They realize that something happens and this affects them, says the specialist in mourning of the university of Navarra (Spain).

Death as fantasy

Isa Fonnegra, clinical psychologist and author of the book "The duel in children", indicates that when a minor faces the loss of a close and beloved relative, death must stop being a fantasy and the mother or father must speak with all sincerity with his child and take into account that he may know the situation or have doubts about it.

"The child knows what is happening, but since they have told him fairy tales, then he believes that death is reversible and expects that to happen with the person who died," says the specialist who also advises using the word death and not just any another euphemism.

What to do so that the children understand the duel

According to Piero Rafael Martínez de la Hoz Foundation , created to emotionally support people or families in the process of facing the loss of a loved one, the steps that parents or relatives of the child must follow to talk about are:

- Explain openly and clearly the process of the illness or death of the loved one. Do not say phrases like "he went on a trip", "he fell asleep", "he went to heaven" or "you have a little angel"
- Allow, if it is the will of the minor, to participate in religious ceremonies and encourage him to express his feelings about the loss of the loved one, as well as his best memories
- Do not deprive yourself of expressing your pain in the presence of the child, as well as avoid drastic changes in the family environment, daily tasks and established customs
- Encourage the child to look for new friends and projects.

What we should do, advises Giacchi, is to avoid the painful scenes of pain and loss of control of emotions in front of the little ones.

Video Medicine: How to talk to a child about loved one's death (May 2024).