• April 26, 2024

Have you ever stopped doing something because your partner does not like it? Or, when you do something amazing for that special person, just do not take it into account? It's time for you to think if it's really worthwhile to stay with her.

In the flesh!

While writing an article about how to feel more comfortable being naked, I thought that often it is not our perception that limits us, but that of the person we have aside.

And I remembered all those girlfriends of my friends who "suggested" them to go to the gym, or that they judged them when they ate that giant hamburger, reminding them that they had struggled to put on their jeans that morning.

We thought it was the funniest thing in the world while we were teenagers, and we did not think that behind those comments a low self-esteem monster would hide.

Fortunately none of my friends married that boyfriend, and most of them are throwing belly while my friends are more beautiful every day that passes.

And then I understood that many of our insecurities come from what others think of us ... mainly the opinion of our moms and our partners.

I also had a naughty boyfriend who told me that I would be his perfect wife if he weighed 20 kilos less ...

It took me a long time to be able to tell my friends this or to talk about it without feeling bad about myself. Every time I thought about his words, although I rationally knew that he was a fool to say them, they would sting me and I would feel fat.

Although I had never considered myself ugly or fat, he managed to make me feel uncomfortable with my body, got me to consider turning off the light for the first time in my life, got me to stop walking naked in my room when he was present. It made me feel bad about my body, it made me hate it a little bit.

Even so ... I kept lending it to him. During all the time we were together he had access to my body although it seemed fat.

Forgiving myself that loan was what most cost me when we finished.

In reality he did nothing, more than being a boor (and above all terribly ugly and crooked teeth that I have known in my life) but I allowed him to hurt me in a fiber that no one had touched before. I allowed him to depress my self-esteem, I gave him the power to change the perception I had of my body and I allowed him to continue enjoying it.

I allowed him to make me feel that he was doing me a favor by loving my body. He did not do anything, I gave him that power and I made mine those negative feelings about my body.

Forgiving that and looking at myself in the mirror after him cost me a lot. In the end I understood the mistake I made by staying with him and giving him access to my markets.

If he did not like ... why be with him?

And therein lies the error that many women make ... We empower the people around us to have an opinion about our physique and we take ownership of their perception of ourselves.

Except him, all the fiancés and couples that I have had, have loved each one of my curves, they have enjoyed them and praised in all their extension. And that's the way it should be. But the imprint that idiot left me took a long time to be erased.

Why lend your body to who denigrates it? After him this was very clear to me ... My body is perfect, in each of its markets and muscles, it is perfect, it is mine, and it is a wonderful machine that allows me to be alive.

If you do not like it ... you have nothing to do with it. Do not let anyone, never, make you feel bad about your body, over any part of your body.

We are the worst judges in this regard and we are always looking for ways to improve what we do not like ... If you have too many kilos, you will live your life on a diet, if you feel very thin, you sure eat too much, each one tries to take care of your body and take care of him as best he can as to allow a stranger to make them question and change their self-perception.

Maintaining our high self-esteem is complicated ... loving us as we are, with all the shortcomings, is complicated. Letting someone else criticize us is a serious mistake.

If you do not value it ... it does not deserve it. The sooner we understand this, the less we will suffer in life.