What to do when a child dies

Isabel Miranda de Wallace He lost his son in 2005. Since then he began his search to find the kidnapper and murderer of Hugo Alberto Wallace Miranda. Her struggle led her to be part of the case investigation team and adopted logotherapy as part of her emotional recovery.

Isabel is currently president of the High Kidnapping Organization . Thanks to his fight the Anti-kidnapping Law it will be modified by a working group of the Justice Commission of the Chamber of Deputies, due in large part to its observations.

Miranda has declared before the press that the strength to face the death of her son, the harsh process before the authorities and those involved in her murder, has been thanks to the logotherapy

Logotherapy is a school of psychotherapy that has its roots in Victor Frankl , a Jew born in Vienna who lived the Second World War in concentration camps for 3 years.At the time of his apprehension, Frankl was dedicated to medicine and during the war era lost his entire family.

Throughout the time he survived in the concentration camps , he realized why some people survived and others did not, even if they were strong. There were people who took their lives, but those who survived were people who had something to live for.

The Lic. Rocío Arocha of the Logotherapy Institute in Mexico City answers some questions about it.

What is logotherapy?

"Logos" is seen as "feeling" and "therapy" is healing. Logotherapy is take care through the sense . When a person finds meaning in the pain It is protected from mental illness. It is a philosophy of life.

"The idea is how to find that meaning, when the pain is discovered, the feeling goes on, but it's different to live with it hope , that with suffering and not prosecuted, because it takes you to the depression , addictions or even death. "

How does logotherapy work?

It is an individual therapy but can also be done in very specific groups. As for example: one of parents who have lost children, or people who have lost their jobs.

In the face of the loss of a child, as happened to Isabel Miranda, and in similar cases. How does speech therapy help parents? How does it help them move forward?

"We have dealt with many cases of parents who lose their children or have other types of losses, the basic therapeutic method is to identify what was learned from experience, how you can turn a painful experience into a learning experience and of self-transcendence " .

For example, I lost my son but I am going to participate in the anti-kidnapping foundation to help other people who have gone through it. Logotherapy helps you find meaning when you work on something specific to your pain.

"The pain that touches you, touches you for something. empathy that you automatically develop help in the process, you do not have to take a course, because you are already the mother of a kidnapped child. Life teaches you how it feels. And nobody better than them to understand someone in the same circumstance. "

What are the steps to follow when losing a son or daughter?

"The first thing that must be done is Thank you for having a child. " The fact of having known him is a grace, it is a blessing.

Second, you must learn. What did that son leave me? What did I learn from him? How can I make sense of his death? If he dies and nobody remembers him and nothing positive is done with his death , it remains in a vacuum. If I pay tribute to your life through a social action I give meaning to his life and I make it exist for the world.

There is a very good case to explain how it works through social actions. The ALE Foundation was created by a woman who lost a child because they could not get a transplant. The foundation helps to get organs for other children who need it and thanks to it there are now many donors. "It's a way of remembering your son and if you honor him he has a I felt his death. "

The society is obsessed with time, is there a certain period of mourning?

Each human being is unique and unrepeatable and we consider it dehumanizing to give him time to overcome a loss. Depending on the relationship with the person you lose, there may be different times. Other types of factors also enter, such as the type of death, the time of the process, among others.

What matters is how was your relationship with the person who died. When you lost a child and mistreated him or did not have a good relationship, the duel It becomes very difficult to process. If there was a good relationship, you will experience sadness and pain but it will be easier to assimilate it.

Logotherapy emphasizes that update the love that you feel for the people in life. To ask for sorry if necessary and not left pending. You must express your love the others.

What should be done with your memories?

At a certain point you should start giving away your son's clothes, and try not to make a altar eternal in his memory. There are still other people present, and if there are other children, care must be taken not to lose their parents. May the people who love you not also miss you. Do not miss with the one who died. As long as there are other people that you love, you have to go through them.


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