"It's not you, it's me" Does it sound familiar? To almost all of us it has happened! And although we do not believe in that phrase, we tend to look for the reason in ourselves and we torture ourselves thinking that the fault is ours for not being nice enough, intelligent or safe.
Many women live this type of situations that in the end are sad, depressing and painful. The truth is that the world is not going to end because that boy does not feel the same as you feel, in fact, it's time to discover your inner strength.
The psychologist and therapist Walter Riso, in his book 'Manual for not dying of love', rescues self-love as your first great love.
The author explains the problems that make love a cause of agony and anguish and that lead people to remain chained in unsatisfactory relationships that lead to a state of unhappiness, disappointment and despair.
"To love you do not have to` die of love ', suffer, fade, lose the north, be one with the other or lose your identity: that is affective intoxication When we confuse falling in love with love, we justify emotional suffering or its concussion / rapture / agitation and we end up entangled in negative relationships that embitter our lives, because we erroneously think that `that's the way love is'," says the therapist.
If that man that you like so much denies , stop suffering and take note of what to do to move forward, according to the author's recommendations.
1. Not always one nail pulls out another: sometimes the two remain inside
Walter Riso explains that there are cystic loves, those that pass the time and are still there, so many times it happens that you think about knowing someone to forget the past, but this is almost never a good option, since it is about hiding something that should be debugged without help.
The revenge is never healthy, because it tends to compare, to remember, in the end, the nail sinks more or you add another. Cleaning the interior thoroughly before starting anything is the main advice.
2. If love is not seen or felt, does not exist or does not serve you
Love shows, and a lot. When there is real love, you see, you feel that you admire them, that they love you, that they respect you, therefore you should never indulge in indifference, contempt, justifications, lack of communication, lack of priorities. Either they love you or they do not love you, there's no more.
3. Do not idealize the loved one: look at it as it is, crudely and without anesthesia
One of the capital errors, the idealization. Many times it is done because we need to justify the needs of our ego, idolizing someone we barely know.
4. Do not take rejection to chest
Keep in mind that things did not happen for a good reason, but you have learned and matured thanks to that experience. Rejection is an opportunity to consider if there are things you should work on.