What happens when it's not like that?

Many times the love makes us give everything on our part to maintain a healthy and happy relationship , but what happens when you give more than what you receive? Is it good for your relationship?

In accordance with Mario Guerra, relationship expert for Match.com , reciprocity is a very important element that allows us to establish stable relationships and lasting.

 

"Giving and receiving is a fundamental axis that creates an environment of generosity and trust between two who love each other".

 

What happens when it's not like that?

If one day you discover that something is happening, because you have had some loving details with your partner that you have not even noticed and less thanked you, you might feel that you have been the victim of a couple who "have abused the love you feel for her. However, this may cause you to experience low self-esteem, insecurity and fear of abandonment.

 

"These little pixies distort your perception and put you big magnifying glasses for some things and dark glasses for others. Your attention becomes selective and you begin to focus only on what you do not like.

 

"But not only that, you also begin to keep a careful accounting of what you have invested emotionally in the relationship, how little you have received. To top it off, what your partner gives you seems little for the thirst for love and recognition that you have had for a while, "says Mario Guerra.

 

Act immediately!

Before making any decision (continue or finish) it is important that you take into account the following aspects that Mario Guerra describes.

remember

Have you had this feeling in past relationships? Maybe you always feel that they give you less because you end up giving more.

Another possibility is that your need for love is not satisfied with anything, even though you have sold yourself the idea that you "just conformed" and that "you never ask for anything in return".

If this feeling is not new, perhaps the best idea is to seek help from a good psychotherapist.

Has your partner changed or was it always like that? Be objective and consider yourself if this is something recent or rather it had been happening since the beginning of the relationship.

Talk

It is necessary to communicate to your partner how you feel, but be careful; Do not do it since the classic "is that I love you more, that's why I give everything" to the no less known "I'm a fool whose only sin has been to love you". The truth is that the drama is better for the theater and here we talk about communication between adults.

Speak only about your feelings, offer some examples and tell them the changes you have noticed, if that is the case.

Make specific requests for the changes that you would like and be prepared to listen to your point of view about what you have exposed. It is not about seeing who is right, but rather that both find a better way to communicate for both.

A relationship It is to share and enjoy all the good that there are in two people who love each other. If we begin to do accounting, to accumulate debts and to restrict our love until the other "puts his part" we will not get very far together.

 

"Couple communication is not simple, but when we open important issues like these, without attacks, defenses and with the will to find solutions, the result is usually very satisfactory for both," concludes Mario Guerra.


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