• April 16, 2024

Why is it difficult to find the love ? If you have ever asked yourself this question, believe me you are not alone in this. If we conducted a Google search on the subject, we found 939 thousand results in Spanish and 681 million in English. There are people who are worried about the issue!

While the reasons why you can not find the love can be many and varied, the psychologist Juan Carlos Legorreta presents some of the most common.

Search for the perfect person

If you are really waiting for the person who meets 100% of your expectations, you do nothing but reduce your chances to almost 0%. What is best for you is not looking for someone perfect, but someone suitable to love you, love you and both are willing to share their lives together, even knowing that along the way there will be many things to discover and differences to know.

Of course, that does not mean that you do not have certain tastes and standards in the search, but ask yourself what things are negotiable for you (for example, that you do not like ice cream) and what things are not (for example, that you drink too much) .

Low self-esteem

When you consider that you are not enough to wake up not love anymore, but at least someone's interest, you feel at a total disadvantage. This is reflected not only in your attitude to life, but directly impacts your chances of relating to someone.

You spend your life between catastrophic, negative and rejection thoughts of the type "who is going to fix on me", "sure if I greet him or answer me" or "why do I try it if I already know how this will end".

The reality is that you fall into the so-called "self-fulfilling prophecy" when you ensure that nobody will notice you and unconsciously do everything to keep anyone who may be interested. Address your self-esteem with a qualified mental health professional.

Idealization

Nothing can against the fantasy. Maybe you're looking for a partner comparing your candidates with a former high school student or even with your mother or father, at least unconsciously.

When we have idealized a person it is difficult for someone to reach his height. And not because he really has it, but because we have put him there by attributing qualities he did not have.

Memory is capable of distorting not only our perception, but our memories, so you think that nobody ever loved you like that bride of yesteryear or none so handsome with that boyfriend of the past.

Even thinking that that was true, they are no longer in your life and for sure it is for some good reason. In fact, if you were to run into them again, they have probably changed or you have a surprise when comparing reality with your fantasies.

The places where you are looking

They say "marriage and shroud of heaven goes down," but you're more likely to find shrouds in a funeral home than love.

It is not impossible to fall in love with someone in the most unexpected times and places, but think that "miracles" are not so frequent, so ask yourself where you have been looking for a partner.

If you spend the week from home to work and vice versa and weekends do not socialize so much, it is unlikely that right now the doorbell rings and when you open it you will discover that it is love that calls.

There are those who look for bars, parties and even casual sex relationships to the right person. I do not judge that to be bad, of course, but you get a little of what you're looking for in each place.

Diversify your possibilities by socializing more, talking with different people initially for friendship purposes, and from there parts to see if something else is given. If you are looking for technological aids, make sure that the online sites you visit are focused on the type of relationship you are looking for.

There are all kinds, but each with different results. If you are single or single, looking for a stable partner, do not waste your time in relationships based on sex or social networks without any type of filter among your users.

Remember that one of the best ways to find a suitable partner is to ask yourself what are the 5 things you most admire about yourself and then use that little list as a compass that leads you to finally find the love you are looking for.