The manipulation and emotional blackmail within a couple's relationship provoke negative feelings that are not easy to handle, because they are immersed in certain power games that are not always recognizable.
We have all been in a destructive relationship that involves some games of power that more than contribute to our personal growth, only sinks us deeper and deeper into depression. Do you think there is no way out of this situation? Pavel , our expert psychologist, tells you in this Urban Manual how can you easily deal with this type of relationship:
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As part of these power games, accessing a demand from a partner often means giving up what you want or even needing to do, whereas, if you respond with a negative, more problems can be triggered. Thus, Carla Bonatti, professor at the Faculty of Nursing of the U. Andrés Bello, Chile, reveals which are the most frequent:
1. Self-punishment In this case, the threat consists in damaging oneself to make the other feel guilty. As, for example, saying: "If you do not love me, life does not make sense to me".
2. The silence. It is a way to show anger. The other, often feels that just giving in will improve the climate of the relationship.
3. Victimization . It implies a demand disguised as feelings of pity and guilt. Like, for example: "If you do not come to see me, I'll be alone all day".
4. The fault. Criticisms or critical comments are used to make someone feel guilty and correct their attitude or behavior.
5. The promises. Wonderful promises are offered that, because they are unrealistic, are rarely fulfilled: "If you give me another chance, I promise you that I will change and we will be happy again".
Both in the couple's relationship, as in life in general, a clear and honest communication is crucial in order to clarify ambiguous situations. The manipulation game ceases to have power over oneself when it is recognized as such, and the first step is to differentiate between a request and demand or demand.