Love after 65 years

• April 24, 2024

The ability to love and the ability to be loved are the two basic conditions of quality of life of the Elderly .

The statistics are very clear, and states that the woman Widowed more often than the male, which implies that both in absolute and relative terms, there are more older adult women in a widowed state than males . And the latter marry quickly, it seems that they tolerate less widowhood than women, in addition to having a greater offer to compose a new partner. Older Clubs are usually a clear example: female participation is still greater than 4 to 1 and usually reach figures such as 30 to 1 and 50 to 1.

Therefore, in the autumnal love (in older people) there can be very varied situations, since there is a radical difference between an older adult and another, if he is married or widowed or divorced or separated or single. Love among older adults includes as many possible variables as in the youth , but we will point out some typical variables of this time of life:

The infatuation in the third age

The changes produced by falling in love with a person may be due to the presence of chemical substances .

Older adult man and woman are expected sanity , moderation, realism, serenity , according to the stereotypes in force at all times. Therefore, the older adult does not have permission to fall in love, according to their children, grandchildren and friends, and according to society. Falling in love would be out of place. This strong tradition cultural It has been modified , Fortunately. The gerontofilia has disappeared as a sexual deviation, as well as the suspicion that every male elder, above all, is more prone to paraphilias and abuses of children. It is recognized that there are older adults of both sexes, attractive , seducers, friendly .

The secret loves and unipolar, unilateral, are not rare, however, at this age, and usually fill the days and fantasies of the elderly, who can transform their unconfessed or impossible loves into friendships. Because its love heterosexual is deposited on a person married or committed

Marriages that survive

Believe it or not, at the dawn of the 21st century there are people who have married only once and are still together after 30, 40, 50 and more years of marriage .

Somehow, autumnal love in each type of the mentioned couples acquires diverse forms: more affectionate, more friendly, more sexual, more tender , more refined, more spaced, deeper, more romant . But above all things, although it may seem insipid, autumnal love is realistic, accept the wrinkles of the other, the deafness, the small manias, the peculiar depressions, the pleasures Y preferences As well as the increasingly restrictive money management, even the infidelities of the past are finally elaborated when they existed.

According to statistics, 50% of the couples that are not interrupted by widowhood, age together No problem. The other half lives in the middle of a small, medium or large hell, with varying degrees of separation and divorce, under the same or different roof. A Marital crisis frequent is caused by the so-called 'empty nest' when adult children leave the house to form a new home, married, united or independent.

The new reality is the situation of the "stuffed nest", when children divorced, separated or unable to finance their independence, they return to the paternal home that has already been reorganized to process the absence of children, and now it must be restructured, not only socially economically , What is not little.

Sexuality in the third age

Finally, the sexuality of the autumnal couple can be expressed in all its fullness. There are new paradigms for love and sexuality of the older adult.

In the sexual aspect the woman has achieved her orgasm thanks to the knowledge his erogenous zones and stimulation and self-stimulation techniques, which can be shared with your couples young or old, new or old. In addition to hormone replacement and lubricating gels, the mature woman must conserve, recover or develop her power of seduction as a social quality more. And many have always done it. They are the older adults of the group who marry again and again, when their husbands leave this world. In the groups of older adults it is known who they are: "they always get married", the timid older women complain with envy.

The males passed from the 'concoctions of love' and the rejuvenation that hunted unsuspecting with pretensions greater than their strengths, to the hormones that were effective only in case of proven male climacteric, going through nutrients and stimulants general, penile prostheses more and more sophisticated and still valid for some cases of irreversible erectile dysfunction, up to sildenafil citrate, blue pill that in two years changed the face of the evicted sexual, to recover the rigid phallus and we arrived at the apomorphine hydrochloride that facilitates the already established erective reflex by direct stimulation of the glans, effective in all ages, but specific of older adult couples from decades ago

Source: Synthesis of the article "Autumnal Love", published in Red Lationamericana de Gerontología, written by the Dr. Andrés Flores Colombino ; Medical specialist in Psychiatry, Geriatrics-Gerontology and Clinical Sexology. Member of the Advisory Board and the Scientific Committee of the World Association of Sexology (WAS). 2nd Vice-president of the Executive Committee of the Latin American Federation of Societies of Sexology and Sexual Education (FLASSES).

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