Identify the problem and act!

Every time you start a relationship do you think how long it will last this time? Maybe you put everything on your part to have a stable and happy partner; However, months later you go back to single life and ask yourself: What am I wrong with? Why do not my relationships last?

In accordance with Mario Guerra, relationship expert at Match.com , this is one of the questions that he calls "from the office" and that a lot of people take a therapy session.

 

Identify the problem and act!

The therapist explains that the problem is that whoever asks this question seeks the answer in the being with a "what do I have bad", when usually the fault is in doing "what am I doing wrong" or in choosing "with what people I'm relating to. "

 

"Fortunately, there is much we can learn and improve from these last two aspects."

1. Identify your fears

One of them may be jealousy, that is, the fear that your partner will go with someone else.

2. Do not sabotage the relationship

You are afraid to achieve a stable relationship. "I know it sounds strange, but many people sabotage their relationships for fear of not giving the width, to being discovered as a" fraud "or not being enough to make another person happy.

3. Avoid emotional distance

Sometimes fears are disguised as coldness, so you can not give 100% to the relationship.

You feel that you will leave hurt your samples your true feelings.

4. Control anxiety

The fear of abandonment keeps you restless at all times, so you avoid disturbing your partner and please her all the time.

If you do this you only cancel yourself and lose value as a couple, which generates abandonment.

5. Avoid the persecution

 

"When a person has a great need of physical presence to feel loved, or one who expects a constant emotional connection from their partner to be calm, react to the first hint of distance as if they were signs of a romantic apocalypse."

 

"Wrong then, begins the harassment of the couple, demanding more time and attention, without realizing that this, far from approaching, ends up moving away definitely a couple who ends up feeling suffocated."

 

"Both fear and need are not very good counselors for love and lead us down paths that we do not want to walk or become people we do not want to be. This conditions the quality and duration of our relationships. "

If you identify with any of these points, it is best to seek support from a specialist or psychotherapist to guide you to channel your emotions in a healthy way.


Video Medicine: Tony Robbins "How to Identify and Solve Problems" (July 2020).