• April 24, 2024

The same concept of "spinster" referred us in negative to that aunt who was always alone, sad or bitter. No one could think of her as a woman who had opted for singleness and that she had the right to be happy, to feel attractive or to achieve personal and professional success.

Fortunately, things are changing. According to the psychologist Bella DePaulo , of the University of California in the United States, author of the book "Singled Out" , single women are assuming their status more enthusiastically than men.
 

"Although there are still those who feel sorry for singles, most of those who choose to be, have a great time," says the expert. Old beliefs like that single women are lonely and bitter have become obsolete. Women are very good at making friends and keeping them through the years. Even if they get married or divorced, their friends are still with them.

Economic independence freed us

DePaulo supports the theory that the open labor and sexual freedoms that many women enjoy today, allow them to obtain well-paid jobs to support themselves and have sex with whom they want without being married.
 

The statistics

The figures support his conclusions. In the United States, for example, more than 40% of the population over the age of 18 (87 million people) are divorced, widowed or single.

In Mexico, the National Institute of Statistic and Geography notes that divorce has increased: in 1971, for every 100 marriages there were 3.2 divorces; in 2008, 12.3 legal separations and currently 20 couples break their union after a year of marriage.
 

Now, singles are known as "singles" and fit into life with their own and carefree style. To this new category is also added the denomination of "swofty", that is, single women over fifty years old who are still the most desired, those who arouse the greatest admiration and the most difficult to conquer.

6 myths about singleness

Bella DePaulo clears 6 myths from the singleness . Do you want to know them?
 

1. Marriage will make you happy. That's what friends and family of singles sometimes think. However, they are wrong. First of all, singles are usually at the top of the happiness scale. Second, getting married has little influence on a person's happiness. Some married experience a small increase in happiness at the time of the wedding, but this is only effect of the honeymoon.

2. Singles are alone. Sometimes people say that singles are "alone" and that "they have no one". But this is just a false myth. Studies show that singles often have many important people in their lives.

3. Older women are especially lonely. Older women, in particular, are considered solitary spinsters, but in a study of 50 women who have always been single, 49 of them had intimate friendships and usually talked to these people every day. Sixteen of those friendships had lasted more than 40 years.

4. Singles are egocentric. In theory, married people are the ones who maintain contact with other people in the family or in the neighborhood. That's what they say, but it's not true. Some surveys show that single people are more likely to visit, support, call and advise their families than married people or even those who have ever been married. Singles are also often the ones who encourage, help and socialize with their neighbors and friends.

5. Bachelors are not as healthy as married people. Normally, people who have always been single have a health very similar to that of those who are married. However, there is an exception in which single people are healthier than those who live as a couple: married people are fatter! And as for the divorced, some studies say that people lead a healthier life after divorce than when they were married.

6. Single people spend more money on frivolous things. Those who live as a couple are no more generous than single people when it comes to giving financial help to their families. And for friends, singles are those who are there by their side.

Actually, a study showed that men were much more generous economically speaking with their friends when they were single than after they got married. When the men separate, they are released again. If they remarry, they stop being splendid with their friends.
 

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