• April 25, 2024

Although you have felt a great love and have fear of losing a person with whom you shared beautiful moments, being friends with you former It could be a little functional idea.

The friendship with the former it is usually of lower quality, in general there is less emotional support, trust and real concern for the happiness of the other; which is more noticeable if the break was not mutual, says a study of the University of Connecticut .

In the next video Eduardo Calixto neurologist National Institute of Psychiatry , explains the most common mistakes when ending a relationship.

For its part Juliana Breines , psychologist author of "In love and war" , states that the probability of a friendship with your former It works depends on the reasons, and shares some that will definitely make you fail. Know them!

1. For the friends in common

If your friends and family want you to be friends with your ex, you are more likely to accept them as an act noble and to avoid discomfort. But if it's your only reason you're in trouble; you have the right to continue with the friendship although he is no longer part of that and avoid it if you feel bad.

2. You feel bad for him

If it was your decision to finish and your ex is not taking it well, maybe you do not want hurt him more by rejecting their friendship. But it's not you responsibility Take care of him and actually your support can make you feel worse. The option is to make sure you have the support of other people who want it.

3. You want to keep control

Even knowing that the relationship will not work may be hard for you to think that your ex will find the happiness with someone else. It is tempting the idea that by maintaining friendship you will still have influence in your life. This will prevent them in the long term heal and find true love.

4. You feel lonely

When there is a breaking off you may feel like a empty in your life it will take you a long time to fill. So on a lonely night it will seem easier to talk to your ex to see a movie than to go out and meet new people.

If you opt for your ex, you run the risk of falling into a intermittent relationship , which will actually be less satisfactory , not very loving and with more problems. Therefore, if you feel lonely it is better to contact your friends or family.

5. You suffer from the syndrome "the grass is greener"

When you are not satisfied with your new relationship It is common that you can feel more interested in your ex. And it happens because it's simple idealize to a person you are no longer with, since you expose yourself little to your bad habits.

This is a trap because if you always see "the greenest grass" from another side, you will never be satisfied with nothing. In this case it is better to try to resolve your current relationship than to run help of your ex, so you will only make everything worse.

6. You think it's going to change

Maybe you finished because it was unfaithful or he drank a lot, but you have faith that at the thought of losing you change and being friends will give you momentum. In some cases the hope for reconciliation can work and people change, but in most cases it is just a fantasy .

7. You want a lit candle

You do it because you want to keep your ex close by in case you can not find someone "better". Needless to say, this is unfair for the person who loves you, but also for you. Playing it safe does not always work and sometimes it's better close cycles forever.

8. Does not accept a "no" answer

It happens that you do not want to be her friend, but you have fear of the reprisals I may take. Remember that you are in your right to refuse and you should not hesitate to call the police or other instances to protect your integrity. Be careful with ex you were very jealous or possessive.

9. He still loves you

If your ex is still in love with you and you do not feel the same, the best thing you can do is let it go. Spending time with him will give you false hopes , even if you try to be very clear, people see what they want to see. Although having someone who loved you increases your ego , you will hurt him and it is unfair.

10. You still love him

Being in love and with the secret hope of returning is the strongest reason you can have, but also the most dangerous . If your ex no longer wants to be with you, there is very little you can do to change it. With the passage of time, friendship will only harm your self esteem.

Unless neither of them has hidden motives, such as those mentioned, and maintain a friendship Do not interfere in their lives, it may be possible for the idea to work. But you must be completely honest in your true intentions.

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